The pandemic has exacerbated the struggles facing many who care for children, aging relatives, loved ones with disabilities, and family members who are sick with COVID-19 or other illnesses. With long-stalled federal investments in a care economy, paid family and medical leave, and other policy and workplace reforms under consideration, my colleagues and I weighed in on the role men can play in providing unpaid and paid care in a series of posts this year.
They are based on reports from New America that explore the cultural, legal, and other changes that would enable more men to do this essential work.
Considerable research supports the conventional wisdom that tells us that women have long been primary providers of caretaking work, spending appreciably more time on unpaid household and care work each day than men did before the pandemic—and during it.
But as I wrote in April, it is also true that before and during COVID-19, men have been significant providers of care work, both within their families and in their careers.
With gender roles and intergenerational dynamics shifting, more men will be caregivers in the future, which is good not only for men but also for women and society. A series of reports produced by the New America Foundation and funded by RWJF sheds light on the caregiving experiences of nearly 3,000 men as fathers, as caregivers to relatives, and in their professional careers. Many find it immensely rewarding.
For men to succeed in caregiving professions, the culture must change. Caring professions include some of the fastest-growing jobs and it’s time to end the stigma and pressures that discourage men from entering those fields. Caregiving careers should be recognized as respectable for people of all genders.
My brilliant colleague, Dwayne Curry, grew up in Newark, New Jersey. Today, along with his wife, he cares for four children, including one with special needs, in their blended family. In a powerful personal reflection, he writes:
Media, television, and popular music perpetuate this idea that Black dads aren’t in their children’s lives, and that’s simply not true. Good Black fathers do exist, but it’s taken more time for our experience and contributions to be recognized. It is so important and powerful for a child to have a father figure. I see that my kids’ view of fatherhood is being shaped by what they see in me... Many obstacles prevent fathers from being fully present in their family's day. Because of the environment I grew up in, I intimately understand the forces holding people back. I’m referring not just to a culture that only encourages men to pursue a very narrow set of traditionally masculine career paths, but also systems that make it difficult for men to take time off when they have a new baby or a sick parent. There is no question that policymakers can do more to break down those barriers with reforms like paid family leave. There’s a role for employers here, too...
I’ve also seen what male caregiving can do to help a family grow and thrive... As someone who has been impacted by false narratives, and is working to bring about a new one, I’m grateful to be involved in this work. In my life at home, I know that I may not always have the perfect words to express how I feel on command, but my children know that I love them, and my wife does too, because I show them every day. There is nothing more important to me than that.
