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Black Men Who Care Are the Role Models We Need

Feb 10, 2022, 10:45 AM, Posted by Dwayne Curry

How can encouraging men to share the joy and challenges of caregiving help erase stereotypes and transform the nation’s culture of care?

The acclaimed Carter Woodson, who is often called the father of Black history, said: You must give your own story to the world.

Those have been guiding words for me these past few years as I’ve shared my deeply personal journey as a Black father and family caregiver. My goal in doing so is to help break stereotypes, create a new narrative, and offer solutions to the caregiving crisis that is holding our country back.

I’m proud to be a caregiver to my family, which includes my wife, her 9-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son, my 9-year-old son, and the 2-year-old son we have together. Caring for four children, including one with special needs and another who is an active, curious toddler, is not easy. Doing it during a pandemic that has made life much more difficult for both kids and adults has been especially challenging.

Reclaiming the Narrative of Black Fatherhood

Jun 16, 2021, 9:45 AM, Posted by Dwayne Curry

Fathers play a critical role in the healthy development of children and families. This is why it's important to address structural and systemic barriers that prevent Black men from being fully present in their children's lives—so that all families have a chance to thrive.

Illustration by Cat Willett

My wife and I have been married since 2019, but we’ve known each other since we were 14-year-olds. We are raising a blended family. She has a daughter who is 9 and a 7-year-old son. I have a son who is 8, and together we have a 2-year-old son.

The pandemic has profoundly shaped my parenting experience in numerous ways. I had to transform my house into a combined virtual school, daycare, and work setting. The last year has negatively impacted our seven year old, who is autistic, mostly due to disruptions to the in-person support that he needs to truly thrive. Navigating these evolving dynamics, while working, running a household, and trying to stay sane has been extremely challenging. But being present in my children’s lives makes every moment worth it.

My father left when I was 3 years old. Because he wasn’t in the picture for my upbringing, in some ways, I am trying to reach an ideal as a father that I couldn’t actually see as a child. Something inside pushed me to be different, to counter the “absent Black father" narrative.

When I was younger, my perception of a father’s role was very different than it is now. I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, where norms for a Black child, a Black young adult, and a Black man could be stifling. The limits were very clear on what society deemed appropriate for a Black man, and how you were supposed to interact with others. I was never comfortable with those unwritten rules.

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